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Conversions de musulmans
n°136

Belgium

Christmas 2003

Soumia, converted to Jesus as she hears Christmas carols

Soumia was born into a family of Moroccan Muslim immigrants. Her growing up is normal in appearance, but inwardly she is tormented by the search for God. She tries hard to practise Islam, but Allah seems always distant and silent. Her search is unfruitful, and increases her despair. Knowing herself to be a sinner, she sees no prospect of salvation and believes she is doomed to hell; her good deeds can never carry enough weight in the scales of Allah's justice.

At school, she meets a man who exudes a peace and joy. He invites her to go hear a gospel choir in his church on Christmas Day, December 25,  2003. This date marks Soumia's new birth; her life will never be the same.

Reasons to believe:

  • When she is in church and hears Christmas carols describing Jesus, she is overcome with emotion. Suddenly she realises: "I recognise him, he's the one I've always been looking for." At the same moment, the pastor is inspired and interrupts the concert: "We have a long Christmas program, but I have to stop everything because the Holy Spirit is insistent... A person present in the room must accept Jesus as her Lord and Saviour. Let her stand up and come forward." This coincidence is too strong not to be providential.

  • It is striking to see that when the truth and beauty of Christianity are revealed to her, Soumia initially struggles. She doesn't want to convert, because that would mean damnation by Allah. Then she hears a voice to her right whispering in her ear and brushing aside her fears.
  • The authenticity of her conversion cannot be questioned. It is clear that before December 25, 2003, Soumia is deeply tormented, in a constant spiritual battle, and thoughts of despair overwhelm her. She actively seeks answers in the Koran and leads a pious life in accordance with Islam, but to no avail. It is through reading the Bible that she finds the answers she so earnestly seeks, and a lasting peace.
  • Once she has met Christ, Soumia is ready to do anything to follow him, even it if means death.

Summary:

This is Soumia's testimony: "My name is Soumia. I'm the youngest of three girls. My father was a non-practising Muslim and my mother a practising Muslim. It was she who gave me the love of God, because at afternoon coffee time she liked to tell stories about God's love and how it played out in everyday life. She was always kind and listening to her neighbour and practising love through her works. And yet she seemed to be in constant pain, and that was something I wondered about. I often saw her crying her eyes out... May she rest in peace.

I had a perfectly normal childhood, from the outside. But, on the inside, a spiritual battle raged: my malaise was hidden, but very present. No one could suspect it. The oppression was such that I thought of death every day as an ultimate solution. Practising Islam, through prayers, fasting and giving alms, didn't help. Allah seemed distant and silent to me, while the forces of darkness, on the contrary, were very present.

I spent my childhood in a Catholic school. The teaching of the Christian faith and the love of God were an integral part of my schooling, but I didn't try to compare it with the faith I practised. During my teen years, my search for identity was such that I sought all my answers in the Muslim religion. Wanting to get closer to God, I spent my first student's salary on buying a copy of the Koran, a biography of the Prophet Mohamed and books of hadith. I thought I'd find the answers to all my questions, but I fell into an increasingly dark tunnel. I spent nights in prayer and nothing helped. I was sad and convinced that nothing I could do would save me.

It was a descent into depression, because I couldn't see any solution or salvation. My sinful condition showed me that I was doomed to hell, and that all my good deeds would never weigh enough in the scales of Allah's justice!

After I finished college and earned a diploma, I decided to continue my education and take a language course. It was there, in a classroom, that I met a man who exuded a very special peace and joie de vivre. It was as if our encounter was providentially planned. We soon became friends and I was able to confide in him things that I had never confided in anyone before. He exuded an uncommon wisdom.

One day, I shared my love of music with him, and he invited me to attend a gospel concert in his church on Christmas Day 2003. That date marked a turning point in my life, a new birth.

That day, it was snowing; it was a beautiful morning. When I arrived at the church, I was struck by the crowd of Christians present and the smiles on their faces. I'd always had the image of semi-empty Catholic churches. I sat down and looked around me: everything exuded peace and love... The music resounded with unimaginable power and beauty. The words of the songs spoke of an omniscient, omnipotent, glorious God of love... It struck me: I recognised him, he was the one I'd always been looking for!

I jumped to my feet and started reciting suras from the Koran. I scolded myself inwardly. Tears streamed down my face, I couldn't hold them back any longer, a torrent gushed from my heart, my whole body shook, I was overwhelmed, as if submerged by rivers, my heart swelled in my chest.

The music stopped, the pastor stood up and took the microphone. He said "We have a long Christmas program, but I have to interrupt it because the Holy Spirit is insistent... someone in the room must accept Jesus as Lord and Saviour. Let them stand up and come forward."

I knew he was talking about me. I was seized by an incredible force that pushed me towards the altar. I ran, as if for my life. I looked at the pastor and, in his eyes, I read a mysterious divine love. My only desire was to have what he had. He smiled at me and asked me to close my eyes and pray.

I prayed in Arabic in my heart, as I had learned, and that day I addressed Allah, saying: "If you are the true one, reveal yourself to all these Christians." I quickly caught myself: "Starfilah el hadim, how could I defy God? Forgive me, Allah!" What will I say to God on Judgement Day? Then a powerful voice whispered in my right ear: "You will know what to say to God." I turned round to see who had spoken to me, but no one was there.

I returned to my seat and my friend offered me a Bible. I was filled with gratitude without even opening it. My friend and his wife invited me to their home, and we talked for hours about the Bible. When I read it, it was like rivers of water flowing through my heart. All the answers to my questions were in the Bible. I went home and read for days and days without being able to stop. Jesus is the only way, the truth and the life. I have found the priceless treasure, salvation, eternal life.

Everything makes sense: my sinful condition, God's marvellous plan, the sacrifice of his only son, Jesus, the perfect, spotless being who came to Earth to redeem us. The truth exploded in my face like a bomb. I'll never let go of his hand again. I'm so grateful! I decided to serve the Lord with all my heart, to follow him and to be baptised as soon as possible.

I have spent nearly twenty years in the Church in his service. Acceptance of my conversion within my family was very difficult, to the point that that I had to leave my father's house to live my faith freely, because the interrogations and oppression I was experiencing were unbearable. The spiritual battle was real and the Lord showed it to me in my dreams.

Today, I am married and have two children. I and my household serve the Lord. My mother has passed on to the Lord. Before she left us, I had the chance to talk to her, and she agreed to let me pray with her. The Lord Jesus Christ showed me in a vision that she was at his side, dressed all in white. I'll never forget the songs of glory through the golden portico of the kingdom of Heaven: "Today we welcome a warrior," the angel said to me ... Glory be to the Lord, for God's promise has been fulfilled: "Believe in the Lord Jesus and you and your household will be saved." (cf. Acts 16:31).

My encounter with the Lord was so powerful that I had no fear of leaving everything to follow him: my family, my community, absolutely everything... I was ready to give my life to be with my Saviour. Everything I experience with my Lord Jesus is beyond comprehension. My only desire is to please him.

"The Spirit and the bride say, 'Come.' Let the hearer say, 'Come.' Let the one who thirsts come forward, and the one who wants it receive the gift of life-giving water." (Rev 22:17).

Soumia


Going further:

Inside Islam: A Guide for Catholics: 100 Questions and Answers by Daniel Ali and Robert Spencer (2003) 

 


More information:

  • 20 Answers - Islam, by Andrew Bieszad, ebook by Catholic Answers Press
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